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It’s my birthday!

chocolate cupcake

It feels weird to make a post announcing it’s my birthday for no other reason than to say it’s my birthday… but it’s my birthday! I have my free Starbucks drink and am daydreaming about what books I will buy with my indigo gift card I received this morning.

I’m also reflecting on the hundred or so paths I traveled over the past 365 days. If you know me, you know it’s hard for me to sit still. I crave change regularly and always move with goosebumps on the back of my neck. And invariably, it’s out of nowhere that the feeling hits; suddenly I am overcome with a desire to travel, have a new experience, or connect with the world in a different (but always meaningful) way.

I take on work challenges in almost drunken behavior – weaving, staggering, pressing a fist against my lips that are clamped together. Once I figure out the job-at-hand I need to be given a bigger, greater challenge. Employees like me tend to frighten the boss: I learn quickly and always want more. Also known as “an extreme go-getter.”

I switch hobbies like puppies jump on furniture. In the past year, and in an attempt to find my fun, I’ve tried tennis, stand-up paddleboarding, archery, parkour, piano, yoga. I joined a book club, did some traveling, connected with my local Buddhist temple. I redesigned my blog, wrote about things that disturb me and that I’ve not been willing to speak about, and reaffirmed I was not emotionally prepared.

And what year can be complete without a few painful lessons, right? I learned that it’s OK to be selfish and do what you want without watering down your intentions. I also learned that you can’t wait for your love story to come to you; you have to make it happen. Whatever your love story is – if you like someone, tell them. You don’t have to be dark and mysterious all the time, especially if you hope to be someone’s Daisy one day. Or maybe your love story is going after that promotion at work, that new Harley you always dreamed of riding or that chicken coop you’ve been learning to build? (Fresh eggs every morning and a rooster to wake me up, admittedly, put a silly grin on my face.)

I’ve also been mulling a big question this past week: is time an enemy or a gift?

You can’t be careless or cavalier with the time you’ve been given. I am in my mid-50s, and with how I perceive time these days, 80 could be on the calendar tomorrow. I don’t want the next 30-50 years to be a blur with a lot of woulda-shoulda-coulda talk. We’ve all got the same ticks on the clock, but what we do with those ticks is uber-importante. Do you have time to stew and smolder in resentment or passive-aggressive behavior? Do you really have time to feel depressed and anxious or play small and be the victim? I know I don’t. I am intent on making my hours and days matter with what matters to me. No more distractions that eat away at the minutes and destroy the hours that defeat my days. The world is changing fast; if anything, we can learn something valuable from all this weirdness. And that is that none of us are so rich that we can afford to waste our time.

Time with family, time crushing your goals, time with friends, time in nature, time getting your sweat on, time in a hobby, time laughing, time lost in a kiss, time learning a new skill, time in self-care, time in self-mastery, time in creating, time to breathe and time being present living fully in the NOW. Be remarkable. Have the best day. Produce. Serve. Experience. Move often. Change regularly. Act like you’re drunk, weave, stagger, make your boss a bit nervous. How time rewards us is determined by the way we spend it.

Time is both the dream grantor and the dream thief. If right now you’re rubbing your hands on your pant leg, or clearing your throat, or pulling or twisting your hair, then you probably get it… and you probably agree. Starting today, I’m spending my ticks on finding a new place to live. Someplace where the trees outnumber the houses. And I’m going to work on getting myself a whole new career – one that doesn’t include the word marketing in any part of the title or description.

It’s my birthday and I’ve got goosebumps.

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